What If I Fail?
Failure & Resilience
Episode 4: What If I Fail?
Age 9 • Failure & Resilience
1
Daughter
Dad, what if I fail my math test tomorrow? I studied but... what if it's not enough?
Dad
Ah, the ancient question. Let me tell you about the Great Science Fair Disaster of 1989.
Daughter
Was it really that bad?
Dad
Oh sweetie, 'bad' doesn't even begin to cover it.
Scene: Dad and his 9-year-old daughter sit at the kitchen table, her math book open. She looks worried. Dad has that 'oh boy, story time' expression.
Dad glances at the calendar on the wall, marked with her test date, and feels his chest tighten.
2
Dad (narrating)
I was ten. I decided to build a volcano that would 'revolutionize science fairs forever.'
Young Dad
This isn't just baking soda and vinegar. I'm using REAL chemicals! I'm basically a scientist!
Tommy
Dude, are you sure you should mix those?
Young Dad
Tommy, please. I read a book. I know what I'm doing.
Scene: Flashback: Young Dad in his garage with an enormous, overly-complicated volcano model covered in tubes and beakers. Tommy watches nervously.
3
Dad (narrating)
Spoiler alert: I did not know what I was doing.
Young Dad
And now, I present: MEGA VOLCANO!
Judge
Oh my—
Young Dad
Why is it purple?! WHY IS THERE SO MUCH?!
Tommy
*from the back* I TRIED TO WARN YOU!
Scene: The volcano erupts with massive purple foam that covers the entire science fair table, the judges, and Young Dad. Chaos ensues. Other kids are running away.
4
Young Dad
*sobbing* I ruined everything! I'm the worst scientist ever!
Mom
Oh honey, you're not the worst scientist ever.
Young Dad
Really?
Mom
The worst scientist would have blown up the whole school. You only got three tables.
Young Dad
That's... not as comforting as you think it is.
Scene: Young Dad sits in the car, covered in purple foam, crying. Mom tries not to laugh while comforting him.
5
Mom
You know what failure means?
Young Dad
That I'm stupid?
Mom
No. It means you tried something hard. Most people don't even do that.
Young Dad
But I messed up in front of everyone!
Mom
And tomorrow, you'll wake up. The sun will rise. And you'll get another chance at something new.
Scene: Mom turns to look at Young Dad seriously, her hand on his shoulder. The purple foam is still in his hair.
'Every sunrise is a gift,' she said softly. 'Don't waste them being afraid.'
6
Dad
Want to see the photo? I was purple for a week.
Daughter
*giggling* You look like a grape!
Dad
A very sad, scientifically-challenged grape.
Daughter
Did you ever do science again?
Scene: Dad shows his daughter a photo on his phone of young him, completely purple. She's laughing now, her worry temporarily forgotten.
7
Dad
Actually, that's the interesting part. Let me tell you about my friend Sarah.
Daughter
Another story?
Dad
I'm on a roll. Sarah failed her driver's test. Five times.
Daughter
FIVE?!
Dad
Five. Want to know what she does now?
Scene: Dad leans back, getting into storytelling mode. Daughter is fully engaged now, her math test worry fading.
8
Dad
She's a professional race car driver.
Daughter
NO WAY!
Dad
Way. She failed the regular test because she kept going too fast. Turns out, that was actually her talent.
Daughter
So... failing helped her?
Scene: Flashback: Sarah in a race car, helmet on, looking confident and happy on a professional race track.
9
Dad
Failing showed her what she was really good at. Sometimes we need to fall down to figure out which direction to walk.
Daughter
But what if I fail and it doesn't lead anywhere good?
Dad
Then you'll have learned what doesn't work. That's not nothing.
Daughter
I guess...
Scene: Back to present. Daughter looks thoughtful, processing this. Dad watches her with that proud parent look.
10
Dad
Plus, you studied. That's already brave. You're facing the test instead of running from it.
Daughter
I don't feel brave.
Dad
Brave people are always scared. That's what makes it brave.
Daughter
Did Grandma tell you that too?
Dad
Yep. She was full of good stuff.
Scene: Dad points at her math book with encouragement. Daughter manages a small smile.
'Was?' she asked. 'Is,' he corrected quickly, but something flickered in his eyes.
11
Daughter
Will you help me practice one more time?
Dad
Absolutely. But I'm warning you, my math skills peaked in third grade.
Daughter
Dad, I'm in fourth grade.
Dad
Then you're already smarter than me. You'll be fine.
Scene: They lean over the math book together, Dad pointing at problems. The worry has lifted from her face.
12
Dad
Hey. Whatever happens tomorrow, I'm proud of you for trying.
Daughter
Even if I fail?
Dad
Especially if you fail. Because that means you were brave enough to risk it.
Daughter
*hugging him* Thanks, Dad.
Dad
*quietly* Always, sweetheart. Always.
Scene: Dad pulls her into a hug. She looks relieved and ready. He holds her just a moment longer than usual.
He breathed in the smell of her strawberry shampoo, trying to memorize it, though he didn't know why.